


Madison Miller is a minx

by anyanka_eg



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-11
Updated: 2010-03-11
Packaged: 2017-10-07 21:29:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/69419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyanka_eg/pseuds/anyanka_eg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little bit of New Year silliness involving elves, chocolate, farts and more smut than I had intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Madison Miller is a minx

“Rodney, what's this?”

“Hmmm?” Rodney questioned, not really paying the slightest attention to him or the little package he was holding. John was used to it, at least when they were in Atlantis.

“Why's this in my bag?” he tried again, using the voice that always made Rodney listen to him when he needed to. And he did need his attention now because there were things in his luggage that he definitely hadn't put there himself. Rodney glanced up from the comic book he was reading, craned his neck and squinted at the small scrap of colored plastic in John's hand but didn't bother to stand up from his seat on the bed. 

“I can't see what it is from here.”

“It's a Cadbury Magical Elf,” John explained, reading off the packet. “To be specific, it's an elf called Citrine who apparently is very organized and packs Santa's sleigh for him.”

“Ah!” Rodney said, his tone indicating that he had some idea what was going on.

“What did you do?” John inquired resignedly of his suspiciously blushing boyfriend. It wasn't that he minded finding surprise chocolate in amongst his socks, although this seemed to have popping candy in it which was kind of wrong, it was just that he knew Rodney well enough to know there was something more to the story.

“Nothing bad,” Rodney reassured him, not quite meeting his eyes. “And it's all Madison's fault.”

“She's six, McKay!”

“And a minx,” Rodney sighed, finally meeting John's gaze.

“Rodney...”

“She had a load of those chocolate elf things, and why Jeannie lets her have them but doesn't let her have turkey is a mystery. They're full of all sorts of crap and I'm sure they make her hyperactive. You said yourself...”

“Rodney!”

“What? Oh, yes. Anyway, she had all these little bars of chocolate...” Rodney trailed off.

“And?”

“You were helping Jeannie in the kitchen one day and she showed them to me and told me that she thought youlookedlikeanelf.”

“What?” John inquired, moving closer to Rodney who seemed to shrink back from him. He looked down at the comic book, his cheeks were burning and his jaw was working like he was trying to force words out.

“She said that she thought you looked like a magic elf,” Rodney finally answered, his face a picture of misery. 

“That's what I thought you said,” John drawled.

“I'm sorry,” Rodney said, sighing and putting the comic book down. “I told her you wouldn't like it but she seemed to think it was even funnier the more I objected.”

Rodney looked so miserable that John had to flop down next to him, wrap his arm round his shoulders and kiss his hair. It wasn't the first time he'd been compared to an elf and he was sure it wouldn't be the last, not if they showed Lord of the Rings on movie night again. Ronon had spent a week calling him Arwen, which really stung, before he'd gotten bored with the joke.

He'd cursed the Buchan ears as a child and the fact that he'd inherited them from their mother and Dave hadn't. And he'd cursed the stupid jokes his aunts had made whenever they came to the house. Buchan-ears they'd almost scream, roaring with laughter as though it was the first time they'd said it, and he'd blush, twisting away from their bony fingers as they tried to touch him. There were whole Christmases where he'd worn a Santa hat pulled down almost to his eyebrows in an attempt to escape their teasing because his mom told him he couldn't hide in his room until they left.

“I've been called worse,” John said, his lips still brushing Rodney's hair.

“She wasn't being mean,” Rodney reassured, turning his head and kissing John's neck. “And it could have been worse, she could have decided you were Zircon.”

“Zircon?”

“Another of the elves,” Rodney mumbled, sucking shivery little kisses into the skin just behind John's ear. “Zircon is apparently a bit of a farty pants.”

“What?” It came out as an explosive laugh, even though the feel of Rodney's teeth nipping at the lobe of his ear was making him hope for things they hadn't done the whole two weeks they were at the Miller's.

“There's a web site,” Rodney breathed, his quick fingers making light work of the button on John's pants. “It's very informative. Every Christmas the elves are sucked through the Earth's center up a secret tunnel from the South Pole.”

“I could suck you through a secret tunnel,” John suggested helpfully, leaning back to give Rodney better access to his pants.

“You should get a smacked bottom for that,” muttered Rodney, giving John's balls a friendly squeeze that made his eyes cross with pleasure.

“If you insist,” John groaned.

“Well, you have been such a good boy,” Rodney said, pushing him backwards on the bed. “It's only fair I give you a present.”

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the Cadbury Magic Elves in the supermarket the other day and thought of this, except it went a little smuttier at the end than I'd thought before. The website is now not online but maybe at Christmas time. I think the chocolates themselves are only available in the UK and Ireland. Be warned there's appalling cheery music on the website.


End file.
